Thinking Of Having Another Baby?
Your heart melts when you catch a glimpse of a mommy and a baby while at the park. But is that a sufficient sign you and your partner are ready to add another member to your family?
Giving your child or children another sibling comes with many factors to consider. Before you begin picking out names and going shopping for nursery items, ask yourself if your family is ready for the big change that another baby will bring.
Think about the following…
- Your financial stability and your career.
Sure, there are plenty of families who are not financially stable. But carefully consider whether you would be able to handle the additional expense that comes with an added member.
Also, make sure you are aware of what type of maternity leave you would be able to get from your place of employment. Paternity leave allowances are mandated by US labor law, but particulars differ from state to state.
For instance, Miller & Steiert, a firm specializing in employment, family, business, and divorce law in Colorado notes, “a woman who’s pregnant or has a pregnancy related condition has to be treated the same in employment purposes as any other employee would be treated. If a woman were to take maternity leave or pregnancy related condition leave, her job needs to be held open the same as the company would hold open a job for another employee who was gone for some other type of medical condition.”
- Your family’s emotional stability.
This time around, the question about whether to have another baby goes beyond asking if you are ready for the amount of self-sacrifice involved. Or if you know what it means to put someone else’s needs before your own on a daily basis. Or if your partner has had all his ya-yas out and is ready for fatherhood. You have been through that introspection already with baby no.1.
Now, you also need to think about the emotional state of the family and of your child or children individually.
Is your family going through a rough patch? Perhaps there are unresolved issues that you are presently working through with one of your children. Or you just moved to a new city or state. Your partner changed jobs recently. One of your children has a learning disability, etc.
- Your marriage and your partner’s feelings.
The small window of time you used to have with your partner will now be even smaller. If your marriage is on the ropes, then having a baby will not fix it and could, in fact, strain it further.
If you have been meaning to go to counseling with your partner, do that first before expanding your family’s size. You will have less time to do so if you put it off till after the new arrival comes into your lives.
Ideally, both you and your partner need to be fully committed to the idea of another child. If only one of you is fully on board with the idea, this could be the cause of issues later on down the line. Not to mention, the other partner might be less willing to help out with the chores that will arrive with Little Junior.
- Your house and the amount of available physical space.
Can your house handle the addition of another member to your family? Sure, while the baby is young, he or she might share the master bedroom with you. But how long do you want that to last? And what is your plan for after?
If you have been meaning to move houses to accommodate the addition of a new member, then do that now. Yes, you can still move houses if you or your partner is pregnant. But you will be less cranky, tired, and a little more physically able to handle the stress of moving if you do it before you are expecting, not after.
Naturally, the timing of having another baby might never feel perfect. But sometimes, waiting a few months to half a year could allow both you and your partner to fully weigh the pros and cons. And then, whatever you decide, you will both know that the decision was not rushed or made in response to a baby itch.
If, after weighing up the options outlined here, and you know that you have both physical, mental, and emotional space. Then you are ready to consider the next step.
