Barbie Hair Clippings!!

[Danielle]

  someone tell me what to do about this!! My daughter, who is 9, loves to play with barbies! I love to watch her play mommy to them. she is a great child, and plays well by herself.(my son doesnt). but whenever i go in her room to straighten up, i find sissors and "Barbie" hair everywhere! she loves to cut and fix thier hair. i am getting tired of picking up blonde hair clippings, should she be doing this? is it her age, should i worry about it?? help!! your comments??? 

[Audrey]

What's the harm?

However at age 9 she should be throwing away the garbage herself.

She also needs to know that it's fine to cut the hair but you will not replace the barbies with new dolls with hair.

But again, what's the harm with her cutting the hair?

[Danielle]

  thanks audrey, i have such a "control" nature and i want things done my way, and that means when i clean up, i want to do it myself, you are right, she should be picking it up herself.. i have told her repeatley that she could not have her friends over if she did not clean her room, but i keep going back on my word, and end up cleaning her room myslelf... she does need to learn some self-responsiblity, and she is allowed to express her own self-individualism, so i guess hair clippings are ok as long as she cleans it up, is that what you are telling me? lol.. i guess i need to let go a little bit, i hate that i am such a "control" freak!! audrey, i love any input you have for me!!

[Audrey]

First, I have to say my kids have it sooooo easy and I am such a softie.

Having said that, when you say things and don't follow through, trust is broken. In addition, they know they if they ask enough you'll give in.

Here's my two cents. Sit down with her. Tell her you've given it a lot of thought and there's a new rule. She now cleans her own room. She will not have friends over until she cleans it. You know you've said it before and this time you mean it. She'll test you. She'll try to wear you down. She has a very very clear choice to make. She can leave the room dirty and have no friends or she can invest the 30 minutes to clean it and have all the friends over she wants. Choice is hers.

My teen will come to me and say "mom can I...." and I just look at her. She knows the answer is no unless that room is clean. So...she'll then say "mom, after my room is clean....." She just knows. She might even say "mom my room is clean, can I...."

If you really can't let go and make her clean her room, then don't tell her friends are not allowed. Again, it destroys the trust and lets her know that with enough arguing she gets what she wants.

Again, my 2 cents.

[Danielle]

  Audrey, going to try what you just said now!! let you knw how it goes!!

[Audrey]

There are things I just can't do. For example, my daughter got an iPod. It was suggested I take it away for a certain behavior. I knew there was no way I could do it. This is my daughter who loves to sing and dance. I just knew I would not be able to follow so I never threatened. Like I said, I'm a softie. However when I say something they know I mean it.

[Danielle]

  audrey, i followed your advice and it worked!! she is cleaning her room , and telling me that she will keep it up!! and of course, i use postive reinforcement, i tell her how pround she has made me by being responsible!! thanks audrey!!

[Audrey]

I"m glad it worked. It's no fun to be in battle with our kids.

[Danielle]

  Audrey..now we are cutting Barbie's clothes!! help!

[Audrey]

So what? They won't be replaced. She can sew them and fix them but they will not be replaced.

If it's really not ok then what are the scissor rules? Make the rules, tell her the rules and then enforce the rules.

[izzys mom]

I just had to hop in . . . I have the exact same problem with one tiny difference . . .  My daughter is only FOUR!!!!  She loves barbies and she loves to play beauty shop (my sis owns a salon, hence the obsession)  She adores fixing hair on anyone who sits still.  So here lately she's been cutting their hair (which in our house scissors are a big no, no!!)  The problem is the scissors are downstairs in the basement in my stamp room.  So my sneaky little girl went to the dark scary basement to get the scissors then slink off to her room to perform her stylist duties!!!  Seriously she cracks us up--but we can't let her know it!!!  So I feel your pain with the bald barbies!!!  Izzy just knows that we aren't going to buy her more!!  (I did put the can of scissors on the tallest shelf in my stamp room!)