WOW~questions, I'm so excited. I forgot to mark this thread--so I haven't had a chance until now to respond. The moms I've meant face to face want nothing to do with smartlove.
The basic concept is to teach children through loving regulation and modeling vs strict rules and consequences.
Simply put it is the exact opposite of tough love. Smart love means that you show and tell your child --no matter what they do--that they are absolutely OK and that you love them no matter what. The point is to develop a strong primary happiness in your child so that they will have confidence and self-esteem and thus become successful, happy adults.
Sounds nice, but is very hard. For example, in smart love a toddler or even preschooler is naturally going to 'want what they want--when they want it' for the simple reason that they lack the maturity to understand they can't have it all. We, as parents, are supposed to respect that and just let them be when they take it-even from another child. If a child is left
child we are to put our focus on, not the one who took the toy. Eventually, the child who is smart loved will achieve the maturity level and secondary happiness will depend on who they play rather than what they play with.
There is a lot more to it and I am probably not doing it justice right now. I have some resources though and some experience (3 years of my own) so if you have a specific concern I can do my best to explain the smart love view to a problem.
THank you so much for responding and asking questions! My problem is I need parents to talk to about this stuff. It's so hard to do alone.
Oh, and I've blogged about it a little bit if you want to check it out at www.thewidloefamily.com
and scroll down to find posts by topic:smartlove.