Is it about respect?

[Mamalaina]

So my daughter has reached the age where she will be entering Kindergarten.    Up until now we really haven't had to cross the "what to call other adults" bridge.  Our friends with children older then ours have paved the way in those relationships, and our children call them by thier first names.  But here's my delema, what should my kids call their friends parents??  Right now, being 4 my daughter just refers to them as "Melissa's mom" or the like.  But now, entering Kindergarten, should we go the traditional route and have her call them Mr & Mrs ___, or should we go with first names?  I don't really know???  What are your thoughts??

[mrsbear0309]

My son is doing the big K too this year, I feel for you.  My opinion would be Mr. or Mrs. X, I think if the adult is comfortable with first names, they'll say "hey no just call me ____" and if they're not Mr/Mrs works just fine. My oldest isn't comfortable calling her friends' parents by their first names she always uses Mr/Mrs even though they've told her it's not necessary. My $.02. 

[Audrey]

My kids are older. I always referred to their friends parents as Mr and Mrs. Me personally I always told the kids to call me Audrey, but I love that parents teach their kids respect and leave the choice to me.

[Danielle]

sweetie, this a hard call, i have instilled this "respect" thing into my children since they were 2. i taught them to say yes mam, no mam, no sir, yes sir, my son who is ten, holds the door opened for women, as well as men. they call thier friends mom mrs. jan doe, and i am proud that they do so. personally, i demand respect from children now a days, you just dont see tis being taught, and of course being a southern, it just comes with the territory, but you should so what feels right for you!! comments??

[Audrey]

I have to share a story. About 4 months ago I went to Starbucks. There was a young boy, maybe tenish in front of me. He saw me coming and held the door open. WOW. I was so impressed. I later saw him with his mom and told her what a respectful son she had. He did this when she wasn't looking so it was his choice to hold the door open for me. She just beamed with pride.

Then there's the gym manager who just yesterday allowed a door to close on me when I was 2 feet behind him. I really despise this man

[Danielle]

  Audrey, gym... ego thing, he seems to have a much too big, ego. i cannot stand for men to act this way, that they are God's gift to women, i don't care how good looking u are, if you can't hold the door open for a lady, well, you are just a jerk!!! sorry u had to expereince it

[Mamalaina]

I get a little bi+chy when perfectly able bodied jerks people don't hold the door open for me when I have my kids with me...I usually am pushing a stroller and dragging a pre-schooler by the hand.  I HATE that, you know the one, they push past to get through the door ahead of us.... So NOW I always say "THANK YOU" when the door is closing on my stroller....I'm always amazed at their reaction to this.  Some people look at me like I slapped them, some roll their eyes, and some, just a few blush turn around and hold the door open.....    I'll probably get slapped myself one day for doing that, but you know, come on! I always hold to door open for people....even when I'm pushing my friggin' stroller!!

[Mom2ConnorRyan]

My son uses manners (yes even at 2) because we insist.  Also from the time he was born we would use thank you's and 's whenever he done something good, cleaned up his room, etc.  Because of that now he will say thank you when you do something for him..  If he ask me something he will say .  I believe as a society we have lost our manners and need to get them back.  My husband always opens doors for me unless he is the one pushing the stroller than I do.  It goes both ways because we should use manners toward our husbands. 

[Jo Ann]

my daughter calls adult ladies "miss" and she calls adult males "mr"... this teaches her to honor adults.

[Audrey]

Audrey, gym... ego thing, he seems to have a much too big, ego. i cannot stand for men to act this way, that they are God's gift to women, i don't care how good looking u are, if you can't hold the door open for a lady, well, you are just a jerk!!! sorry u had to expereince it

Hmm I said nothing about him being good looking LOL. He's not!!!!!

[Audrey]

Mamalaina,

I am constantly blown away by both men and women alike who don't hold doors open for a mom struggling with 3 kids, one in a stroller etc. It really makes me stare in disbelief.

[Willow]

Being in the south as I am, it's customary here to do the "Miss Susan", "Mr. Bill" thing.  Somehwere between me being a kid and my kids coming along it switched from last names to first names.  Our last name is a mouthful so that was always fine withe me.  What I still have trouble with, and it's weird, is the grown friends of my grown stepkids, who've known me since the "Miss Willow" phase suddenly calling me by my name, feeling free to use bad language in front of me, etc.  To me, they're still KIDS! 

[Danielle]

  ladies, do we want our children to grow into adulthood with these kind of manners?  no indeed!! thats why we must teach them young about individal respect and repect for others, thier feelings as well, so we can have high hopes of them opening a door for a mom who is  struggling with babies... not trying to influence your parenting skills, nut don't we all wnat respectable children? cooments?

[Danielle]

  willow, being from the south, we understand southern hospality, i guess we "demand " it.  our mothers taught us to be repectable at ALL times, if we weren't we had the crud beat out of us! lol well, maybe that was too harsh, nah, i'm from the south..we say what we feel LOL

[captain_mommy]

Being in the south as I am, it's customary here to do the "Miss Susan", "Mr. Bill" thing.  Somehwere between me being a kid and my kids coming along it switched from last names to first names. 

I spent my teen years in the south and this type of respect was inbred into me; when I came home to the north it didn't leave. I still call all my friends Mr. Charles, Miss Lela and etc. My kids have learned that is what they call all adults and the funny thing is that many of my friends now refer to themselves as Mr. Charles, Miss Lela and etc. it seems that the respect seems to rub off on other people around me fairly easily. LOL