survivors of marital problems

[Jo Ann]

Who had marital problems but were able to overcome it? How were you able to overcome the marital issues?

my husband and i had really bad marital issues sometime 2004. he even had a mistress. the fights were really bad.

i went through counselling. and he joined me after sometime. eventually, we were able to solve the problem and we got back together.

but i can't say our relationship is now perfect. we still have fights from time to time. fortunaltely, we have learned how to fight and how to talk about our issues.

[Linda]

I wish I could help you...my ex left 2 years ago because he wanted to date other women...needed some space...what is he like 15?  I told him if he was going to be like that to go...we were trying to work it out in therapy, but the therapist told me I really should get a lawyer...she could see that is was over in his eyes...God love you for trying...I think it must be the hardest thing to do.  I would have loved to make it work, but he wasn't able to try the things the therapist asked us to do.  2 years later I can finally forgive him, but it has taken me that long.

[Jo Ann]

the separation maybe the best thing for you.

and i think that makes you a survivor as well... 

[Aimee]

We have had a ton of problems.  Let just say because basically, we dated for about 10 months before his divorce paperwork got turned in... (bad bad bad marriage-they were seperated but didn't want to divorce)
We still have major issues from his ex wife-but we have to deal with her since they have a child together.  She still calls constantly with any excuse to talk to him-and she's even remarried with 3 other kids (1 on the way) i think she's been pregnant the entire time that her and her husband have been married. and they married two weeks after knowing each other-ONline!

Every single one of our arguments stem from them talking about something or another.  We both have taken anger management courses seperately, and that has helped us with DH's and I communication issues, and things go better.  Also moving about 30 minutes away from his ex helped too, cause now she doesn't just stop by!

[Tara]

and they married two weeks after knowing each other-ONline!

Wow, that's crazy!

[Aimee]

yeah-we are totally amazed that they're still together, and are still having kids. lol but they seem okay!

[My Four Blessings]

My husband and I separated for 8 months in 2005. I ended up dating someone else (he came close, but she was not interested). I actually became pregnant with this other guys baby, but miscarried at 20 weeks. I know, I am terrible. I am even more terrible because I am kind of glad I did miscarry 

We ended up back together, and had our 3rd child 1 year after we got back together.

I usually do not tell people this, in fear of being judged and hated on. I hope that does not happen here! 

[Aimee]

we won't judge you!!!  Are things better for you guys now?

[My Four Blessings]

Well we definatly have 2 very different views of parnenting, and he still tries to micrmanage, but I don't think he realizes it lol. It is better, but we could still benefit from counseling!

[Jo Ann]

there are bad times for us too. and we could also benefit from counselling. it is just so difficult since we are a blended family (with me bringing in a child from a previous relationship).

[grocerymama]

My husband and I have been through marriage counseling. We had seperated and the conselor actually said that was the best thing at the time. My husband was an alcoholic and very very needy. I got super involved with my job. But we hit a breaking point. He stopped drinking and I quit that job.
We focused on each other and our family. Got involved with a church - that really changed our lives around!

And to theparentingblog, never let anyone judge you. Look how much you have learned! You will be able to help someone else as well.

There is a saying that I always try to keep in mind, "Cherish the joy, resolve the regrets, accept the pain - then come the best of benedictions. . . If I had my life to live over, I'd do it all the same."

[Aimee]

I think counseling would do us good as well-one thing that helped us was going to anger management classes.   we went to seperate ones and we now communicate much better.  I think things would be 10 times better if we didn't have to deal w/ pyscho ex wife meddling her business in everything-or stealing my husband's family from having relationships with us. ugh

[happymomx2]

I hear you on Pycho ex-wifes, we finally moved out of the sate and it took her 1 1/2 yrs to find us . Thnak goodness they did not have any children and after July 1st (last Alimony payment) we will never have to have contact with her again. WHooo Hooo.

The best thing for us was to admit we are differnt people and that it is okay to fight. Dh has major self esteem problems from the other people in his life so we have to get over that somedays too.

[Jo Ann]

There is a saying that I always try to keep in mind, "Cherish the joy, resolve the regrets, accept the pain - then come the best of benedictions. . . If I had my life to live over, I'd do it all the same."

i love this... can i borrow this? just for myself 

[grocerymama]

Of course