bad godparent!

[berriesweetest]

Cool!
My rant for the day? My lazy sister/baby's godmother. It seems I made a bad choice since my sis seems to be under the impression that her "job" was only on the day of the baptismal. Ugghhh. Asking her to spend time with the baby is like pulling teeth. If I could reappoint the position, I totally would.

[Tara]

that sucks... is your sister younger?

[Aimee]

oh that is no good, I'm sorry.
have ya tried talkign to her?

[berriesweetest]

she's four years younger and this whole thing just really sucks.
I am mexican american, and being a godparent is a huge deal in the culture...in fact, there is even a term for the relationship parents of the children and godparents of the children share: compadres...which basically means "co" parents.
it's not about money, but it is about wanting to spend time with the kid, taking that extra step to be there, calling just to visit...all of which her padrino (godfather) does. my sister, however, is a lazy bum who at 26, is still living at home on a part time job and does not contribute to the household. that's a whole different matter which is kind of wrapped up in this because her attitude at home is spilling over into her relationship with her goddaughter, her work, and me just wanting to be around her.
My sis is coming over tomorrow to help watch Buttercup while I do some phone interviews tomorrow afternoon (i am a writer), which is nice, but it has gotten to the point where i don't want to ask her to come over at all. not once, since the baby has been born, has she called to just come and spend time with her.
she'd rather spend time in bed or on her butt watching TV.
sorry this is so long, but i'm not sure what to do. talking to her would basically mean she gets on the defensive and just stops coming over.
what a drama...

[Jo Ann]

i sympathize with you... that is indeed difficult. in our country, most godparents do not understand their role anymore. they think they are only for gift-giving on christmas time.

regarding your sister, it would be difficult to make her understand her role since she is not even responsible for her own life.

have you tried talking to her?

[Tara]

Also since this is the rant section I just wanted to say I have never liked my godmother. Most recently she gave a used stuffed animal for my daughter's first birthday. Oh and she's not poor by any means. She travels out of the country at least two or three times a year, for several weeks at a time.

Her gift the first time she met my daughter? She gave her a (different) stuffed animal and told us it was her teddy bear from growing up, and she wanted to give Bailey something special. I thought she was actually being sweet... until a few days ago when I was reorganizing Bailey's stuffed animal pile and I read the tag on this thing, Made in 1980... funny because my godmother was born in 1947. Nice total BS lie.

[Aimee]

I don't have any godparents, and haven't appointed god parents to my kids...I don't think I really thought about it!

Tara-I can't believe that story about the teddy bear! GEEZ!!! She could have at least taken the tag off

[berriesweetest]

Tara, that would peeve me off! wow-the nerve!

about my sis, she is not a bad person, just has no direction and has never been made to be responsible for herself. she came over and spent the whole day watching the baby for me while i worked, but she was in a good mood. catch her in a bad one and even God can't protect you.

i don't know. she is waht she is. and sometimes that makes me want to strangle her.

[yayamommy]

I feel for you berries.  trying to get a babysitter is one of my biggest challenges.  I wonder what kind of role model your sister has as a godmother?  I'm thinking maybe she just doesn't 'get it' yet, but she will when she gets a little older. 
I'm glad you had a whole day to work.  and that you didn't strangle her!

[Jo Ann]

..............I read the tag on this thing, Made in 1980... funny because my godmother was born in 1947. Nice total BS lie.

what was she thinking? i would be pissed off as well...

[berriesweetest]

Ya ya,
now that you mention it, her godmother was kinda out there for a bit, but as she is our aunt as well, she was always part of the family, ya know? the thing was i think my sis resented that our godparents lived in state and for most of her childhood, her godmother lived out of state.
it sounds overly dramatic, but i know that is probably part of it.
i think she is honestly dealing with some depression issues, but i'll post about that in the appropriate board for suggestions on how to approach her to get help.

[yayamommy]

you sound like a very sensitive AWESOME big sis!  she's lucky--even if she doesn't know it yet.

[bottlesbarbiesandboys]

Give it time and maybe she'll mature a little and step up. Until then get down on her level. Maybe try doing little things with her and the baby, things she might like.  If you do talk to her don't criticize her actions but compliment on things she has done right! All else fails, maybe get a co-god mother.

[jamajofe]

I have 4 kids, which means 4 sets of godparents. My sister is the best godmother. My other godmothers for the other 3 not so great at the job. My 2nd daughters godmother (my other sister passed away) so I appointed her daughter to be my daughters godmother, she is 7 years older then my daughter,.(she is 25, and my daughter is 17) and when we are down on LI she spends time with her. That was my 2nd best choice. Its hard picking godparents, you just don't know what is going to happen.

[Candid Carrie]

I was under the impression that a godparent was to look after the child's spiritual development.  That is the basis we used for sponsors for our children.  I didn't realize it took on different tones ethnicity.