Anyone who has ever decided to order an item from TV has probably encountered this! This is mine! From daily Heart, Humor & Optimism Moment at
www.MomOpinionMatters.ComDay 19/365
Virtual Phone Rage
Thank you for calling about the Forever Knife.
If you'd like to order one Forever knife for 12.99 plus shipping press 1. If not press 2
I press 1
Thank you (After credit card info etc) We are sure that you will want to add a second Forever Knife for just an added shipping charge of 6.99. If you would like to order a second Forever Knife for just the shipping cost press 1. If not press 2.
I press 2. I do not want a second Forever Knife.
We understand. But today we are also offering a BOX SET of Forever Knives for the same price as one Forever Knife--
you only pay shipping and handling. Would you like to take advantage of this great opportunity to own 4 knives for the same low price? If yes, press 1. If no press 2.
I do not want the BOX SET for added shipping. I want ONE knife. I firmly press 2.
Are you sure you do not want to take advantage of this offer. You might want to reconsider and consider friends or family. They make great gifts. Press 1 for Yes. Press 2 for No.
This time I BANG the No!
Just for today and because you are a valued customer (Valued?? They never heard me before!!!) we are offering you a reduced price for the Forever Knife-it will only be 7.99 plus shipping and we will add the BOX SET for just an additional 3 dollars plus shipping. This is a terrific offer only for today. Why don't we go ahead with this offer? Press 1 to take advantage of this special reduced price offer. Press 2 to decline.
I press down the 2 with all my strength! NO!
We are going to give you an opportunity to reexamine this offer. We are sure if you think about it you will want the BOX SET of Forever Knives and for only additional shipping and handling we will add ANOTHER box set! You will now have 8 Forever Knives for the low price of 15,99 plus shipping and handling. Why don't I go ahead and process this order.
If you agree press 1. If not press 2.
This is now war!
I PUNCH the 2 on the phone and find myself swearing as only I would behind the wheel of my car alone, when no one could hear me--I WANT ONE F----G KNIFE!!!!! ONE, ONE!
We understand your hesitation. (Hesitation? Do I sound as if I am hesitating!!??) We are going to give you one last opportunity to own 2 boxed sets of Forever Knives for the low price of 12.99 a box plus shipping. Are you sure you would not like to take advantage of this special offer just for today? If you would like to take advantage of this offer press 1. If not, press 2.
I am now STABBING the 2- and SCREAMING --NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
All of a sudden, out of breath, leaning over the table, I hear-
Thank you for your order.
(Has she given up? Finally?)
It will take 5-6 weeks to receive your order
(Do I hear a cryptic tone? Suddenly I wonder what this virtual predator would have sounded like had I ordered 8 Forever Knives??!!).
Good-bye the voice says most officially.
(Do I hear the white flag, finally?)
YES!!!!! Ahahh! You didn't win! I didn't cave!
Good-bye, I reply most sweetly. Have a great day! I slam down the phone.
The TV is on. I see Forever Nightlights. Forever Nightlights?
Bring it on!
by Margo Judge
(From Daily Heart, Humor & Optimism Moments at
www.MomOpinionMatters.com
Author
