What Would You Do?

[Candid Carrie]

I don't like my husband's daughter at all.  Note that I do not call her my step daughter because she calls me her father's wife. 

I know, grow up, Carrie!  David's daughter is a screamer.  She screams at her kids, she screams at her dad.  She's a second generation screamer too.  David's ex-wife was a screamer. 

Sorry, but it is funny when he holds the phone far from his ear while her voice gets higher and higher. 

I love it when I am his favorite wife ever. 

Alright, this was the meanest stuff I have ever written anywhere.  Again, Don't tell on me!

[MamaEarthling]

Carrie, I now exactly what you mean!
One of my relatives is a total screamer. There is a screaming match at her house on a daily basis, and the kids are growing up to be screamers too. I do believe it is a behavior you learn from early on and once engrained it's hard to change!
There is an article in this month's Parents magazine about a mom who was a screamer and decided to stop. Really interesting. If I find a link I will let you know. You might enjoy it!

M E

[Happy Momma]

You can always make me laugh Carrie!

[yayamommy]

Oh, Melanie, Take care of you!  I'm so sorry to hear about this--what a hard time.  I wish I had some advice, but I am completely out of the 'step'ring--except for my husband's step-mother and him and his brothers have been able to make with her. 

I do know that smart love addresses alcohol and drugs in case you are looking for another resource.  I won't pretend to be an expert and try to explain it. 

((((HUGS))))))  and GREAT job with the rules that she hates.  Someday, hopefully, she'll appreciate it. 

[Happy Momma]

I hope someday she'll realize the rules are because we love her.  It took me time to know that about my parents, but I grew up and realized how much they loved me.  I just hope my SD realizes the same thing.

[michellew]

I think Grandma Shelly had some fabulous ideas! I don't know that I'd make the gifts contingent on behavior, but I certainly wouldn't give her anything that she could use to further facilitate her bad habits.
I wish you much luck.

[Happy Momma]

We have decided that we will spend just as much on her as we usually do.  BUT, she won't be getting any money from any family members- and she usually gets a good amount of money.  This year she won't be getting any cash at all.

[yayamommy]

That sounds like a perfect solution Melanie! Good for you.  I hope things turn around for your SD soon.  It can't be easy being in her shoes. 

[Candid Carrie]

I felt so (fake) g u i l t y last night.  We were taking care of my son's 18 month old daughter (who calls me grandma and David grandpa) for a couple of hours last night and David's daughter called and wanted us to watch her two kids tomorrow night. 

David quickly said no and the truth is that we've actually got something planned.  But then he commented.  Your son treats me like I matter in his life, I would do anything for him but my daughter calls me only when she needs me or wants to bitch about her mother. 

Even when she was asking for us to babysit she was screaming at her kids in the background. 

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