Definition of a bad mom

[Dorseybell]

SO according to my 13 yr old son, and I use the term my loosely as I'm thinking of having him exorcised, I am a bad mom.  He proclaims that his current attitude and TOTAL lack of respect is all because this is how I raised him.  So I need to just suck it up and deal.  (No, he didn't use these words, they were DEFINITELY implied, however.)

I have recently informed him that if he does NOT clean his room and organize his drawers then I will remove the TV from his room.  To which he informs me that, in case I'd forgotten, Meme bought for him so it is HIS, not mine.  Sorry, you lose on this front too, boy!  It resides in my house and the electricity that pumps through it is connected to my house, so unless you're content staring at a blank unpowered up screen, this is MINE to take away from you.

But worry not ladies, I am NOT giving up.  I know he can be a gentleman, and even well-behaved.  I'm just calling his bluff.  So here I sit, in the gameroom, waiting for 10:30 to roll around so I can go check and see if he's cleaned his room or not.  If not, that TV will take up residence in the trunk of my car tomorrow, doomed to stay there until the lil' demon that has taken up residence in you is exorcised OUT!

[Happy Momma]

Sounds to me like you're a good mom!

I am soooooo not looking forward to those teenage years.  I still have 11 years to go.

[Danielle]

Dorsey, you are doing the right thing. I know that we want to sometimes give in, BUT we must stick to our guns, if we don't they will know that they can pretty much talk us into anything. My mom always told me this."I am not your friend, I am your mother." So, you are being his mother, and he will know now that you mean business, and you demand respect. You are doing a great job. You are being the mom that you are supposed to be. AND one day, maybe not soon, but one day, he will thank you for this!!! Keep it up Girl, you have my total support on this one!

[Audrey]

Dorsey,

What happened? Does he still have the t.v.?

[Happy Momma]

I'm wondering too...  What happened?

[RoseTham]

Ah, I remembered my rebellious days when I was a teenager too..Don't worry, eventually he will realise that you are doing all this for his own good when he gets older..
Having said that, I hope my Beanz will just stay at her age right now..

[Dorseybell]

Last night went from bad to worse.  He asked me if he could have a day's extension to finish things, I told him no.  "The rule stands, if your room's not clean by 10:30, your TV is gone."  He pleaded with me that he just wanted to go to sleep and forget about the whole day.  My reply?

"Nope, no extensions.  I don't have an etch-a-sketch brain, so I'M not going to sleep and just forget about this...you're not either.  No clean room, no TV."

About 10 minutes later he came into the game room carrying his TV.  He was throwing in the towel for this night and giving up his TV and DVD player. 

He slept in his sister's room and was out cold by 10:45pm.

I guess we'll see how things go when he gets home from school today.

[Audrey]

I wonder if it was harder for you than for him? Hopefully he'll come home and clean his room so he can get it back. There are times I've had to do things and there is no doubt in my mind it was harder for me.

[Danielle]

I agree Audrey, when I have to correct my children or take away stuff it really really bothers me, I think it is a "mother" thing. But sometimes I wonder if it hurt my mom more to do that , she was a tough person to reckon with

[emsplace]

If you don't win this battle of the wills, you will lose the WAR! lol
Stand your ground girl!
em

[Happy Momma]

Great job standing your ground.  I know my daugther is only a toddler, but when she has to have a time out for doing something wrong I know it bothers me more than it bothers her.  Definitely harder on us moms, I think.

Let us know how today goes.

[Dorseybell]

I can't say that this whole thing is harder on my than him.  I think we're in a dead heat on this one.  My son is a VERY emotional boy and a lot of this time he was , I was fighting back tears as well...you KNOW teenagers can smell fear.  He sat in here and watched Ellen with me this afternoon and then went quietly to his room to clean.  So maybe I'm on the other side of the storm, but I'm not taking the boards off the window yet!

[Happy Momma]

I hope once he sees that you really mean business he'll back down and this will be a one time thing.  Kids have to test their boundries and make sure parents mean what they say every once in a while.

[Nancy]

As a mother who raised three teenage heathens, I have to say you are doing great! 

Win the small battles now...the major ones are sure to come!

[michellesamom]

Sounds like the definition of a good mom to me!
Is there something else going on that he's not telling you about (at school? with friends?)?