Kids & MySpace

[themomblogs]

So - curious.... do any of your kids have myspace pages and if so, what are your rules for them?

Personally - I won't let my son have one - and we have the site blocked from the computer he uses.  But he really hasn't been interested either, he thinks it is silly how everyone has one and how they all brag about the number of "friends".  I cannot believe all the garbage that is viewable out on that site.  Yes, there are many good pages and such but too much garbage to stumble over for them to get there. And I think it is sooo sad how all these girls/young women feel they need to show off their breasts and the rest of their body to get attention.  So many want to strike the sexiest pose they can. It seems like so many think that this is all they have to offer someone - at least that is how it comes across with the pics they put up.

Ok.. off my rant.   What are you opinions?

[Aimee]

I hope that by the time my kids are even old enough for a myspace...don't ya have to be 13?... I hope that the excitement over it is gone.
I myself, have a myspace, don't really care about it though, but if my kids were to have one, i'd want the password, and also need tob e their friend. lol

man the things that are around these days...

[Tara]

My daughter is not old enough... but if she were, I would be watching every move. My husband is a computer guy (in fact, he does tech support and networking at an all girls middle school/high school) and he sees way too many horrible things that these girls get into on their computers. We will have lots of sites blocked at our house and also probably a keylogging program running. I know some people think that is really extreme, but knowing what we know about these girls and their internet use, I would rather protect my daughter.

[Jo Ann]

My 8-year old learned about muiltiply & friendster from her cousin. And she probably saw the look of it for she talked about the pictures, etc. She asked me if she can setup one for herself. Understably, I was concerned. I asked her if she know what friendster & multiply is, how to use it, and the essence of it. She was not able to give a satisfactory answer. I said until she understands it, she can't use it.

That saved me for the day. But what if she can finally give a reply? What will I say then?  I better get those blocking softwares now too...

[Linda]

it is a hard call.  I found they were looking at it at friends houses...mine are in high school now and Facebook is the thing, Myspace is so "yesterday"...at least for the youngest, I know her password...and if I can't know it, she doesn't get the computer...same with IM...if you have to minimize the screen when I walk in the room, you can get off the computer.  I keep the computer in the den with the family so there is no "secret" stuff going on...all this I've had to figure out the hard way...not with my kids, but with their friends..and honestly I would be looking at their friend's myspaces even if they didn't have one...you can learn a lot.  it starts in 4th grade and gets worse from there...

[Jo Ann]

But time will come when I have to draw the line - when do I impose my rules and when do I just let them be? When will I let them go and trust them to things the right way? When will I trust their actions? It might not be helpful if I am watching over their back all the time.

[Linda]

boy, that is so hard...you impose the rules from the time they work on the computer or own a cell phone....you take cues from your kids.  one of my best friends has had some mild drug problems with her son, so she is still checking up on him at 17.  At 14(end of middle school), I started giving my daughter some freedoms with the comp when she changed crowds,  but that can change again when she starts driving.  Then you re-evaluate all over again.  If you suffocate them, then you have worse problems, so a little bit of trust goes a long way.  Be more afraid of their friends than your own, I'm telling you...and about 4th grade, study those friends like nobody's business!  Those myspace pics tell a lot about what is going on!  You teach the values you want them to have and point out unacceptable behavior and it will work out.  Middle school is brutal because they want so much freedom and a lot of parents will give it to the kids...far too much I think.   Remember you can say no as long as you are supporting them!

[Jo Ann]

it just so hard when u have to take back the privileges you gave them. it breaks my heart seeing them hurt and disappointed. but that's what parenting is, right? teaching them lessons to learn.

i am not sure i can relate this to the time we gave our 8-yr old daughter her own cellphone. it was helpful since i can easily call her and check on her. but she was not taking care of the phone, it was often broken or lost. and she was also consumming an unreasonable amount of cellphone charges. i decided to take it away again until she is capable of taking care of her own cellphone. 

it was hard. but she did learn her lesson.

[Linda]

believe me...they don't take care of cell phones when they are teens!  If i see my 20 year old flipping her phone open and closed over and over again one more time...AAHHH...I said I would pay for it while she was in college because she is paying for college...and safety is my first priority with a girl that age...but cell phones are such a rip off...they have you right where they want you...but that's another post now isn't it?

I feel like we should take advantage of technology as much as possible without spoiling the kids.  Some people criticize for young kids getting cell phones, but as soon as you think they can handle it, I think it is ok to let them have one...again that's an individual call for each kid.   Definitely tho by the time they are going places without adult supervision...like the dreaded mall!  And it is a great thing to hang over their heads to take away! 

[singforhim94]

My oldest is 7 and I'm having a hard time getting her a Webkinz!  I think Facebook is a little more clean than MySpace, but if they do eventually have them, I'll make sure I'm their friend.  I have Facebook, and I keep up with all kind of old friends, and groups I belong to.  I think the key is probably keeping the communication lines open.  But then again, She's only 7. Talk to me in another 7 years.

[Happy Momma]

I have a 16 year old step-daughter who uses myspace.  She lives with her mother most of the time and has recently stopped spending much time with us because we have "too many rules."  The way she portrays herself on myspace makes me to my stomach.  We have gone back and forth with her mother over it, but she thinks it's just normal teenage behavior.

Hailey, my 19 month old is way too young right now.  But, when she is  older and wants to do that kind of stuff we will have lots of rules and I will watch very closely everything she does.

As far as cell phones- I think that is a case by case basis.  You know your child well enough to know when he/she is responsible enough to have one.

[lorrij7]

I have an 'old timer' view I guess.  I don't think kids should be using any of that stuff. We never had it when we were kids and actually went outside and did stuff and turned out just fine.

[Blessed Mom 2 Sweet Boys]

 

I have an 'old timer' view I guess.  I don't think kids should be using any of that stuff. We never had it when we were kids and actually went outside and did stuff and turned out just fine.

I agree with this. I agree cell phone as case by case. But I do not feel Myspace is for kids at all. Myspace in my opinion is a adult site that seems to be a place for advertising your career or dating and dirty deeds. I feel they should have a policy that you have to be at least 18. I actually wrote a post on my blog about this after the last big Myspace incident. Around my parts we also had a young girl commit suicide because of Myspace. Not to sound so hard and like a fuddy duddy but my sons will have it till they have moved out of my house.

[justaskmo]

My kids aren't even allowed to have webkinz without me having the password to the account! We keep our computer in the living room, so we can supervise everything that is being done on it. My seventeen year old daughter HAD a myspace account and her aunt was her friend, that way she could kind of keep an eye on what she put on there if she was at a friend's house and used it. Well, needless to say, the account was deleted when my sister-in-law called and told me to log in. As I said, the kids aren't allowed to have any accounts that we don't have the password for, I logged in and saw comments about a weekend party! Bye bye myspace! They don't realize how they are portraying themselves to anyone who wants to look! Myspace is off limits now in my house!

[msfizzles]

Both my teens do have a MySpace, which is monitored by myself and all proper precautions have been taken to safe-guard their profiles. 

We have a rule in our home about the internet.  All user id's and passwords go into a file on my computer. Any website they find that may be of interest to them, I go through with a fine tooth comb. I have all rights to pop in and do a check on what they are doing, without question. No photos go up without my approval. And no personal information is ever given out. Something I've been teaching them for many years now.  Both respect this and it has been something that has worked beautifully for us.  They have limited access to the computer and it is turned off  from the internet at night through the router.    They never complain about these rules. They respect them and it works well.

I'm fortunate that they don't want to be online much, they talk to their friends, tweak their MySpace profiles and then they are usually outside hanging out with friends.

MySpace can be a very safe place for teens, providing the parents take an active involvement in what their kids are doing online. Sit with them, ask questions, see where they are going, etc.,   I know that the news has put "MySpace fear" into many people, but really, and don't get upset that I say this, it is just my opinion.. I feel more safe with my kids on MySpace then if they were walking around town with their friends. MySpace has taken active measures to make sure teens are safe on there, but it HAS to take parental involvement to make sure that safety happens.