Kids & MySpace

[tjstaab]

My 12 year old does have MySpace, however it is a private one that he only allows friends or family to become 'friends' on.  I have his password and have total access to it and he knows that I check it occasionally to make sure that everything is fine on there.  He wanted one because he was changing schools and most of his friends had one and some of his friends overseas too so it was a great way for him to keep in contact with them.  However, to be honest, he's totally lazy about it, I'm the one that generally has to clean out his email account and tell him when people have asked to be his friend or left a comment on his page ha ha.

My son does have his own laptop in his bedroom and we check the cookies periodically and see what sites have been accessed.  He plays a lot of on-line games at places like Neopets and spends hours and hours designing new shoes for himself on the Nike website LOL.  There was only once that something came up that we didn't like but it turned out it was another kid that had been at the house at the time and that boy is no longer welcome here.

[housefull7]

We have already had this issue in our house.  I had found out that my step-son had a myspace site (from his mother's house).  Well, that started it with the other older kids in the house wanting one.  After about one month my Husband and I both went on and started looking around on his site and needless to say was a little shocked about some of the content that these kids get sent to them.  I closed his account that evening and they have not been allowed on since.  Unfortunately we have no control on what happens when any of them go and visit their respective parents.  But at least in our house MySpace is strictly a no-no and any time that they spend on the computer now a days is spent in the living room in wide view of everyone.

[Audrey]

How old are your kids?

[Mom2ConnorRyan]

My son is not old enough.  thank goodness.  If he was it would be blocked.  I checked it out one day and see what I really wish I had not seen.  I do not think they actually monitor ages like they say they do.  Our son better not try anything because my husband is a Regional IT specialist for our local cable company.  HE has already said he would check history on the pc when our son is old enough to use one.  He is already ready for that day.  I think that site is not proper for kids. 

[Audrey]

Since this board is "hot topics" I thought I'd throw out a question. I'm reading a lot of "I won't allow it" and "I'll monitor every step they take"

At what age will you allow you them the freedom to make their own choices and to live life unmonitored?

[mrsbear0309]

My daughter has been asking for one for a couple of years now. I believe they're supposed to be 14, but most kids just fib the age. I'm generally not comfortable with it, but I want her to feel confident we trust her and not eventually feel the need to possibly go behind our backs and get one. The husband and I have debated it back and forth, and I think we're eventually going to give her the green light. Our computer is out in the living room, in the open where she can be monitored, I also like to browse the history just to kind of know what they're looking at. Also we've told her the login and password would be available to us. She's a good girl, but I've heard alot of horror stories. Being online give kids a lot of freedom to do and say things they might not otherwise. A certain measure of anonymity that makes them bolder, I guess. Anyway, my $.02

[Mom2ConnorRyan]

Probably when shows he can handle some responsability.  I believe some parents are to relaxed in parenting.  I am not controlling nor do I want to be.  BUT that does not mean he will not have boundaries.  He cannot just do whatever he wants because as adults we have rules we still have live by.  I believe children need boundaries to know as an adult they have rules. 

[Nancy]

Just my opinion, but I did raise 4 kids with rules.  Children, in my opinion, can be held responsible from a very early age. It starts as a toddler being responsible for their toys.  By the time they are six-seven years old, they can have bigger responsibilities.  But until they can pay for their own cell phone and help pay for the Internet service, my kids didn't have it. 

I am a big believer that if the child wants something, he should work for it.  Take for instance my one son, he was a daredevil from the time he was born, by the time he was 6 he had ruined 3 bikes.  Now I had three other kids who took care of their bikes, so should I reward him by going out and getting him another bike to jump ramps or curbs or whatever, just so he can have one?  I said no, even at 6.  If he wanted another new bike he would have to pay for it.  He found a bike at K-Mart, when he saved enough money from allowance, doing chores for others in the neighborhood, I allowed him to put it on layaway.  By this time I made an agreement with him that if he paid half, I would pay half.  It took him a whole summer of working, not hard don't get me wrong.  But at the end of summer he had a new bike.  He took care of that bike until he outgrew it at 11 and learned some responsibility.

I guess what I mean is that as parents you have to set the limits, especially as a teenager.  So many just give the kids everything they ask for with no questions.  Even teenagers do not need pagers and cell phones.  A pay as you go one works fine.  If they have to pay for minutes, believe me they won't talk as much.

Just my opinion.